This is reportedly the premise for ‘Star Wars: Episode VII’

is the premise of Star Wars Episode VII

Obviously if you don’t want to possibly be spoiled on Star Wars: Episode VII, then read no further. However if you’re like me and can’t resist the temptation of the dark side, you might find this information rather exciting. According to Badass Digest, they have reportedly obtained the premise for the newest instalment in the franchise and I won’t lie, it all sounds pretty far fetched.

Word is the film will open with the standard Star Wars credit crawl (no surprise there) and as the camera pans up to the stars we see a severed hand gripping a light sabre floating through space instead of the customary ship we’ve grown used to seeing in the previous films. Allegedly that vary hand lands on a desert planet of which I assume to be Tatooine, where Daisy Ridley and John Boyega’s characters to find it. I suppose we just ignore the whole organic matter not burning up as it passes through the planet’s atmosphere. Recognising the lightsaber as a Jedi relic, they embark on a quest to return it to its rightful wonder. On the way they meet Han Solo and Chewbacca who recognise the lightsaber belongs to Luke Skywalker, who as it so happens they haven’t seen for a good thirty years since the Battle of Endor in Return of the Jedi. Now while all this is happening “nefarious forces are building a super weapon, one capable of destroying not planets but entire solar systems.” How very dramatic!

I think I’m gonna have to call bluff here. I mean think about it. Luke lost his hand not in space but in Cloud City, it seems highly unlikely that it could have just floated up into space, drifting intact since the events of Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi and then survive atmospheric reentry onto a desert planet. However this is now a Disney movie so anything is possible.

What are your thoughts?

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Author: Special K

The rants of a somewhat fictional character.

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