Hipsters are next on the ISIS hit list!

ISIS to jail anyone wearing skinny jeans listening to music on cell phones

So this could be worrying for Hipsters all over the world. ISIS have just added a new fuck-up rule in their region, one that for a change doesn’t necessarily promises death if not abided, just imprisonment… which would probably lead to death anyway.

The New York Post reports, in the town of Raqqa, anyone who is caught wearing skinny jeans, listening to music on their mobile devices, or smoking cigarettes will be thrown in jail. I know ISIS has taken credit for some pretty fucked-up shit, but the minute you take away one’s rights to wear skinny jeans, listen to bad music and smoke cigarettes (maybe not a bad thing), you know shit is getting real. I’m surprised they didn’t throw man buns on the list.

According to the new law, those breaking the new laws will spend 10 days incarcerated and be forced to take an “Islamic course.” The too cool for school kids will remain in prison until they pass this test. Those that don’t will have to resit it and also pay a fine. That in itself is going to be a problem. Aren’t they aware most hipsters are poor?

In my personal opinion the freedom to dress how one wants, no matter how bad they may look and listen to shitty music should never be oppressed.  It’s a blatant infringement of people’s civil rights.  I suspect that this is their attempt at a mediative attack on the embracement of Western youth culture.

However there are some that support the new policy such as this guy.

ISIS would probably make more friends if they were imprisoning One Direction fans. Just sayin’

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Author: Special K

The rants of a somewhat fictional character.

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